Pride & Prejudice, 1813, by Jane Austen [20 million+ copies sold]

Chapter 1: Intro to Mr. Bingley

It is a truth universally acknowledged,

That a single man in possession of a good fortune,

Must be in want of a wife.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be

On his 1st entering a neighbourhood,

This truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families,

That he is considered as the rightful property

Of some 1 or other of their daughters.

My dear Mr. Bennet, said his lady to him 1 day,

Q1: Have you heard? That Netherfield Park is let at last?

Mr. Bennet replied, that he had not.

But it is, returned she; for Mrs. Long had just been here, and she told me all about it.

Mr. Bennet made no answer

Q2: Do you NOT want to know who has taken it? Cried his wife, impatiently.

You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.

This was invitation enough.

Why, my dear,

You must know!

Mrs. Long says...

That Netherfield is taken

By a young man of LARGE fortune

From the North of England

That he came down on Monday

In a chaise and four to see the place,

And was so much delighted with it,

That he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately;

That he is to take possession before Michaelmas,

And some of his servants are to be in the house

By the end of next week.

Q3: What is his name?

Bingley!

Q4: Is he married or single?

Oh, single my dear, to be sure!

A single man of large fortune, £4 or £5,000 a year

What a fine thing for our girls.

Q5: How so? How can it affect them?

My dear Mr. Bennet, replied his wife.

Q6: How can you be so tiresome?

You must know that I think of his A: marrying 1 of them!

Q7: Is that his design in settling here?

A: Design! Nonsense.

Q8: How can you talk so?

But it is very likely that he may A: fall in love with 1 of them.

And therefore, YOU must A: visit him as soon as he comes.

B: I see NO occasion for that

YOU and the girls may go OR

YOU may send them by themselves

Which, perhaps will be still better

For as YOU are as handsome as any of them 😍

Mr. Bingley might like A: YOU the best of the party! 😉

A: My dear, you flatter me. 🥰

I certainly have had my share of beauty,

But I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now.

When a woman has 5 grown up daughters,

She ought to give over thinking of her own beauty.

B: In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of! 💔

A: But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Bingley when he comes into the neighbourhood.

B: It is more than I engage for! I assure you.

A: But consider your daughters.

Only think what an establishment it would be for 1 of them.

Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to A: go, merely on that account.

For in general, you know they A: visit no newcomers. Indeed, you must A: go.

For it will be impossible for us to A: visit him, if you do not.

B: You are overscrupulous surely.

I dare say Mr. Bingley will be very glad to see you. And

I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent

To his A: marrying whichever he chooses of the girls.

Though I might throw in a good word for my little B: Lizzy (Glow).

A: I desire you will do NO such thing

B: Lizzy (Glow) is NOT a bit better than the others

AND I am sure she is

NOT half so handsome as A: Jane (Qualtrics)
NOR half so good humoured as C: Lydia (Survey Monkey)

BUT you are always giving B: HER (Glow) the preference.

B: They have NONE of them much to recommend them, replied he.

They are ALL silly and ignorant like other girls

BUT B: Lizzy (Glow) has something MORE of quickness than her sisters.

A: Mr. Bennet,

Q9: How can you abuse your own children in such a way?

You take delight in vexing me.

You have no compassion on my poor nerves.

B: You mistake me my dear

I have a high respect for your nerves, they are my old friends.

I have heard you mention them with consideration, these 20 years at least.

A: Ah,

You do not know what I suffer

But I hope you will get over it

And live to see MANY young men of £4,000 a year come into the neighbourhood

It would be NO use to us if 20 such should come since YOU will NOT A: visit them! 😭

B: Depend upon it my dear, that when there are 20, I will A: visit them ALL!

B: Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of

quick parts,
sarcastic humour,
reserve, and
caprice

That the experience of 3 and 20 years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character.

A: Her mind was much less difficult to develop.

She was a woman of:

mean understanding
little information, and
uncertain temper

When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous.

The business of her life was to get her daughters AAA: married.

Its solace was AA: visiting and A: news.

Chapter 2, Paragraph 1: Mr. Bennet visits Mr. Bingley

Mr. Bennet was among the earliest of those who A: waited on Mr. Bingley.

He had always intended to A: visit him,

Though to the last always assuring his wife that he should not A: go;

And till the evening after the A: visit was paid she had no A: knowledge of it.

It was then disclosed in the following manner. Observing his 2nd daughter employed in trimming a hat, he suddenly addressed her with: "I hope A: Mr. Bingley (YOU) will like it 🥰, B: Lizzy (Glow)" 😉

SPOILER ALERT:

1: Miss Elizabeth Bennet (B) does NOT end up with Mr. Bingley (A)

on £4 or £5,000 p/year income
and £100,000 inheritance💔 (1st class)

2: NOR does she (B) end up with her father's distant cousin (but closest male heir), Mr. Collins (B),

with a valuable living in the Church of England
and entailed to inherit her father's income of £2,000 p/year
and estate of £40 or £50,000 on Mr. Bennet's death 💔 (2nd class)

3: NEITHER does Miss Eliza (B) end up with her 1st love, Mr. Wickham (C)

entitled to £1,000 and a valuable living in the Church of England
but traded for £3,000, with debts accrued of at least £10,000+
and ending up on £100 p/year. 💔 (3rd class)

4: NOR does she (B) end up with her 2nd crush, the smart, young Colonel Fitzwilliam (AA)

with £5 or £6,000 p/year
and the younger son (though not the eldest son 🙁) of an Earl
so cannot marry where he likes (not rich enough) 💔

5: INSTEAD Lizzy (B) marries...

the richer, smarter, kinder, hotter best friend of Mr. Bingley (A),
and also the 1st cousin of Col. Fitzwilliam (AA),
and also the 1/2 brother of Mr. Wickham (C), i.e. godbrothers, childhood friends, & future brothers-in-law
and also the favourite nephew of Mr. Collin's (B) patron: Lady Catherine de Bourgh
but also "the LAST man in the world whom I [Lizzy (B)] could ever be prevailed on to marry" 💔
i.e. Mr. Darcy (AAA) on at least £10,000+ p/year 😍

Q10: But how?

How can [the prejudiced] Lizzy (B), a young woman...

of inferior birth (2nd class)
of no importance in the world and
wholly unallied to the Darcy family

Marry [the proud] Mr. Darcy (AAA), a young gentleman blessed with...

splendid property
noble kindred (1st class) and
extensive patronage?

A: Read the book!

B = Build (Mr. Collins)

C = Capture (Mr. Wickham)

A = Analyse V1 (Mr. Bingley) first

AA = AV2 (Col. Fitzwilliam) now

AAA = AV3 (Mr. Darcy) next (or last?)